If you told me 10 years ago I’d see the dick before I slept with him, I’d not only say you’d were bullshitting, but I’d hope you were also telling the truth. Welcome to the year 2016. Dating for black gay men has been more freely sexualized than ever before. Whether you meet him at the bar, at the cigar shop, or seconds after midnight while exchanging a modest and coy chat on Jack’d; at some point he’s going to send you a nude pic. This pattern has become a sexual revolution in our community. To most of us, it’s happened at least once. Although initially, it is a bit absurd. But after the first one (especially if it slayed your ass ), you wouldn’t exactly turn the second one down. But I cunningly digress. Nudes have infiltrated our sexual cyphers and it’s now it time we ask ourselves the inevitable question: “what’s so bad about nudity anyway?”
We all come into this world naked. Born into a world of labels and social norms, nudity has become a topic of taboo for reasons that are very peculiar to me. I mean we all have a basic knowledge of the human anatomy; the shock factor is pretty petty after you’ve swallowed a few nuts in your lifetime. I mean, a dick is a dick right? Or is it? Is there a time table you should have in place before you see what’s behind door number one? Personally, I’d say…ABSOLUTELY.
Not that I find nudity a distraction, but western civilization has sexualized nudity in such a way that you a way that you almost need to be baptized before you have sex with someone. Culture and beliefs have a lot to do with how comfortable we are with nudity. Take the Dassanach tribe in Africa for example. This indigenous tribe has a considerable number of individuals who are naked. This is a normal lifestyle. Seeing breasts aren’t obviously an issue when you see those puppies swing back and forth through the wind. This leads me to believe that maybe we are the ones who have the problem with nudes. A problem that could easily be protected should you use the right filters and cropping techniques of course.
But before we abandon what’s appropriate or not, we must know that timing even in this instance is everything. You set the tone for what you expect from a man. Sadly, most men will put you in the sex category if you present sex to him too soon. It’s just how we’re wired. And with any man, putting yourself out there too soon will always work against you and never in your favor. Let him work for it. And after he has worked to appreciate it, then let him fight to protect it. After all, if you want a man who is going to uphold you to even a respectable standard, you have to present yourself in a respectable manner. There are nudes that are tasteful. Of course you will find some that are THOTworthy, but a nude is a nude at the end of the day. If you want to ruin your potential with a man before it even gets started, go ahead…make his day. Send him one. But after you’ve made his, who is left to make yours?