Ask Shaka: He Cheated & I Want Him Back

TWEET YOUR QUESTIONS: @getyourlovelife

Dear Shaka,

I am a HUGE fan and reader of your blog. I was a little nervous to send you a DM to get your advice on something. But after keeping up with your site, I figured you’d give me some straight up advice. About a month ago, my boyfriend cheated on me. We were together for about 11 months and we were really thinking about moving in to our own place right before I found out. I don’t know how to say this or if I want to admit it but I kind miss him. He apologized to me over and over again and I usually don’t take back someone who cheats. I do think he is sorry and I want to give it a try. What gets me is even though I miss him, I worry about being able to trust him again because once a cheater always a cheater. If anyone can help me, I know you can. Please! Let me know what you think. I am anxious to hear.

–Quarion W., 28
Los Angeles, CA

Hello Quarion,
First let me say, HAPPY NEW YEAR and than you for supporting Get Your Love Life! I wish you a happy and prosperous 2018!
WOW! You really are in an interesting predicament. Missing someone you may have trust issues with can’t be an easy place to be in emotionally. However, when you put it into perspective, 11 months is just the very beginning of exploring the potential of a man–especially considering you two haven’t lived together yet. Should you get back with him? No! It’s time to move on and focus your efforts on someone who is going to give you the monogamous & intimate relationship you need. Also, in future relationships, I encourage you to have more meaningful and in-depth conversations about monogamy with your potential partner. With conversations like this, you can at least have some indication of what to be mindful of when it comes to signs and things to pay closer attention to.

Good luck to you and may you find deserving love in 2018!

S. Hasani

TWEET YOUR QUESTIONS: @getyourlovelife

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2 thoughts on “Ask Shaka: He Cheated & I Want Him Back

  1. Interesting indeed!

    Once I started reading this, I realized that I needed to take off my “never date anyone 4 years younger or older than you” shades.

    Awesome actionable advice. 90 days?? I’d probably say more than that. Historically, I don’t even tell my friends I’ve met someone cool until after about a month and a half, two months. That is only because many of them don’t last longer than 3-4 weeks. HAHA

    Liked by 1 person

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