My Pastor Loves Gay Sex

Church has long been the place where souls come to be redeemed. Week after week, sanctuaries are packed with people who come in their Sunday’s best to worship their god(s) and fellowship among their communities. But scanning the congregation and pulpit, I wonder how many secrets lie in the minds and hearts of many. I wonder how many sins and transgressions are have yet to be exposed out of fear of rejection or better yet, a fear of being exposed altogether. There is one story in particular that blows the roof of the church…and this one holds back no shame, nor any regrets. What happens when a congregation finds out the pastor loves to have gay sex with multiple men?

Lonnie is just like any guy. He’s looking for love in all the right and wrong places. What keeps Lonnie hopeful is his charm, his magnitude of being an attractive guy, but also very aggressive in going after whatever he wants. Just a simple guy from Jacksonville, Florida, he has very modest, traditional values. He believes in the American dream just like any other person, works a steady job, and attends church every Sunday. That modesty changed on January 1, 2017 for first Sunday services in the new year. Lonnie attended church with his best friend TyShaun. There was a new pastor who the entire city had been talking about and both guys had to line up to see what everyone was gossiping about. Bishop Turner was so attractive, everyone remained quiet the entire service because they were stricken by his looks. His presence was enough to restrict your every move. His gaze was strong enough to shake the core of your foundation. He was definitely a force. It was if he was an angel of which no one could explain his significance. You just had to be a part of his essence. After the service, TyShaun and Lonnie were salivating at the chance to meet him. But they were met with about 70 members ahead of them; of course that was not enough to deter them. As they approached Bishop, their heartbeats grew stronger and sweat beads began to form. Now, it was their turn. “How you doing, Bishop? Nice to meet you.”, TyShaun greeted him in a shaken voice. He nodded and responded in return. But when Lonnie offered to shake his hand, he trembled vigorously. As he shuttered to find the breath to say hello, he fainted.

When Lonnie came to, he awakened in Bishops home, on his couch. “Here, I think you should have a glass of water. You’ll feel better.”, said Bishop. “Oh my God! I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened. Please forgive me! I feel so embarrassed.”, Lonnie pleaded. Reassuringly, Bishop put his mind at ease, “You’re fine. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t happened before. I sent everyone one home and I told them I’d be responsible for making sure you were OK. And I will from now on.” Lonnie wasn’t the only one with overwhelming sexual tension; Bishop Turner’s controlled sexual tension was in full throttle. Bishop moved closer to Lonnie. He placed one hand on Lonnie’s thigh, grabbed his chin with the other, and began to kiss passionately. Lonnie’s body exploded in ecstasy. It was as if every molecule erupted in an electrical firestorm of euphoria. It was a secret love affair that went on for weeks. As Lonnie attended church more, he began to notice the attention Bishop showed other men. It was worth investigating to find out just how many other men had Bishop’s attention. TyShaun, being the best friend any gay man would dream of, confirmed Lonnie’s speculation. Something had to be done about this. Filled with jealousy and rage, Lonnie stormed into church a week later during the benediction and knew this moment was going to be about him. “I knew you was sleeping around!! I knew it!! But I refuse to let you embarrass me by sleeping with every queen up in this church! You said I was going to be the only one! Why, Bishop?…WHY?!”, Lonnie exclaimed! The congregation was paralyzed with shock and awe! They had no idea what they were witnessing. This sent everyone immediately into despair; people gathered their things and flurried out of the sanctuary. Worn out and alone, Bishop took one last look at the church he had taken over, gathered his things, and turned the key to lock the church door for the last time.

Two months later, Lonnie still tosses and turns over if he made the right decision to publicly shame his pastor. Was someone he trusted with his body and soul worth the torment and shame of public humiliation? And all because of what??…sex with other men? The truth is, they had no commitment. Their only form of a commitment was an understanding of camaraderie. It was a bond of a different sort. Lonnie allowed his jealousy and rage to overcome him. As he preached about sexuality, homosexuality, and sin, Lonnie sat quietly. He sat quietly because he benefitted from a relationship that superseded his own ethics. As I share this incident with everyone, I can’t help but think about the damage we cause ourselves. Church has become a place where hurt and broken people come for reconciliation and to be healed. And we bring a LOT of things to it—judgment, sex, addiction, insecurity, malice, arrogance, selfishness, amongst other things. On some level, to not expect to encounter it would be foolish. There is an expectation to being your highest self to the alter and lay down burdens. But it is a step by step process—steps that can probably last a lifetime to get over. Whether it is the leader of the congregation or members of the church, each person plays a part in their own healing and being supportive of the community’s struggles. Bringing hostility to an already hostile environment is what makes the “sin” in church a secret. Don’t be the person to create the hostile environment. You don’t want to be the person that everyone walks away from.

#BeBlessedInstead